Spirituality

Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other. by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion. Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning, and purpose to our lives.

Perfectionism

Where perfectionism exists, shame is always lurking. Shame is the birthplace of perfectionism.

Much of my shame comes from thinking that I'm just not good enough. Most of it is "perfectionism" speak. "I don't have the body I want" or "I don't have the car I want", "I don't make enough money", my self assumed status among my peers just isn't high enough. I'm not "this" or "that" good enough because of my failures or shortcomings. I do have some optimism in my life, but it always feels like I'm settling for less.

I need to learn to combat this negative self talk with positive replacement phrases. Replace, "I'm fat and disgusting when I'm naked" with, "I'm working out because I want this for me." It's difficult, but I need to be kinder to me. Being more understanding with myself is crucial. Mistakes happen. Learn from them. Feel your feelings when you emotionally fall.

Part of why I share all this is because I know the trials I have experienced are not happening to just me. I genuinely feel sympathy for any other guy that might be suffering the way I was.

A big key to my recovery has been awareness. There have been many light-bulb moments that give explanation to why I was feeling the way I was. One of my 3 keys to recovery is awareness (and knowledge). 

Perfectionism affects me spiritually as well. We're taught that no unclean thing can dwell with God. My perfectionism and awareness of my imperfections adds to my zany self talking out of being spiritual in prayer or vulnerability. It takes courage to not let myself slip into my easiest default settings.

Authenticity

Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen."

Fear

Shame is all about fear.

Shame

We don't talk about the things that get in the way of doing what we know is best for us, our children, our families, our organizations, and our communities.

Love and Belonging

If we want to experience love and belonging, we must believe we are worthy of love and belonging.

Connection

Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement; when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.