Owning our story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky, but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy - the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of the light.
Me - I have a lot of darkness in my life. Also, a lot of light. Both light and darkness create many opportunities for vulnerability. These events have created space in my life for empathy and love. Its difficult being brave when facing your darkness, or light. It takes real courage to open up or tell your truth. Even if you might think your story could be rejected. Who would ever get vulnerable again if their story was rejected? But, that is where love is. You find love and connection when you get vulnerable and receive empathy in return. The sad part about an addicts life is: the "feeling" of empathy or acceptance is sexual in nature. I couldn't receive real empathy or connection unless it was accompanied with sex. And if sex wasn't involved I felt rejection. And so, I would accuse my wife of not loving me if we weren't having enough sex, or if I sensed she didn't "enjoy sex", or if she wasn't sexually aggressive with me.
How to be vulnerable: I talk about an event and how it made me feel. The one way I've started practicing vulnerability is with my Heavenly Father. The best part, He ALWAYS shows up with empathy, love, sympathy, sometimes pity, and compassion. And I always feel closer to Him.
Me - I have a lot of darkness in my life. Also, a lot of light. Both light and darkness create many opportunities for vulnerability. These events have created space in my life for empathy and love. Its difficult being brave when facing your darkness, or light. It takes real courage to open up or tell your truth. Even if you might think your story could be rejected. Who would ever get vulnerable again if their story was rejected? But, that is where love is. You find love and connection when you get vulnerable and receive empathy in return. The sad part about an addicts life is: the "feeling" of empathy or acceptance is sexual in nature. I couldn't receive real empathy or connection unless it was accompanied with sex. And if sex wasn't involved I felt rejection. And so, I would accuse my wife of not loving me if we weren't having enough sex, or if I sensed she didn't "enjoy sex", or if she wasn't sexually aggressive with me.
How to be vulnerable: I talk about an event and how it made me feel. The one way I've started practicing vulnerability is with my Heavenly Father. The best part, He ALWAYS shows up with empathy, love, sympathy, sometimes pity, and compassion. And I always feel closer to Him.